I must apologize to those who follow my blog. This last year was one of pretty major transformation which required me to, well, hibernate a bit. It is great to see that during this hiatus I have some new readers who were attracted by my posts of the past! So I am back and thrilled.
You know, I started this blog with a desire and strong motivation to write and share through an urge I had to really change the modern lifestyle I was living, to make conscious choices and follow a shift that had come from my soul. What a mind blowing journey it has been thus far! I got more than I bargained for and have had to face, up close and personal, not just the harmonious side of doing right by myself and the universe but the ugly side as well…the reverse…the things that I, myself, was doing to hold back out of fear. I have really been able to look at my shadow side and embrace it, to shed the false need to have only a beautiful representation of these changes taking place. This last year I turned around and looked straight into the mirror with a willingness to see the ugly. I realized that I was sometimes mistaking being positive with being fake. Sometimes I have a difficult time in just admitting that, hey, something does not feel right here and its okay for me to be upset. As long as I don’t act out on it in an unhealthy way I can accept my emotions, make friends with them and listen to what it is they are trying to tell me. This is not easy in any way, believe me, I have found really “functional” ways to act out without being too obvious over the years. I decided that I no longer want to take short cuts in order to appease my desires or my fears. I no longer want to be hard on myself for things that are way out of my control. So now, I am working this year to REALLY go inside and find the ways in which I pollute my inner riverbeds. How do I cut corners for convenience and avoid reality when it comes to my emotions? How do I put aside my spiritual needs to appease my dominant mind? What is it that truly makes me feel good and at peace? Instead of having brief encounters with my intuition and being mildly uncomfortable with the sensations it brings I choose to embrace it, get to know it and let it drive the bus. Learning to trust myself, my higher self, the core of my being has proven to free my soul from the chains that were binding. That shift that my soul was calling forth is in full swing now. The only time I stumble or trip is if I or my ego gets in the way of that motion or an old pattern of belief or thought somehow escapes my now careful scrutiny of its existence within my behaviors. I will expand on these topics later.
So, although I will continue writing about my usual subjects, you will now see a lot more reflecting in these new areas…a little more honest, bare bones soul searching. I hope anyway. Certainly far from perfect, and thank God for that.